The Precious Super-Special-One-Of-A-Kind Dragon Cheese
Copyrighted 1999
Spyro the Dragon was, once again, off in search of Gnasty Gnorc. Every time he beat the idiot, Gnasty raced off immediately to cause more trouble. Would the Gnorc never learn? You had to wonder what went through its mind (or lack there of! ^_^)
Right now, Spyro was in the OZSFSE World. Naturally, he had no idea what the evil creature was doing here. Of course, Gnasty might just be running around stupidly to annoy the dragons, but Spyro had his doubts.
“Come on, you dumb Gnorc!” called Spyro angrily. “Give it up! This whole chasing thing is getting boring. What do you say we go and get some Bar-B-Q instead? I can do the roasting part! Or maybe some nice sheep?”
“Never!” crowed Gnasty. “I will never surrender!” A second later came, “And lookit what I got!”
Spyro’s heart sank. He was too late. Something had been stolen.
“Give me back the--” Spyro stared in surprise. “The hunk of cheese?”
“That’s right!” sneered Gnasty. “I have the Precious Super-Special-One-Of-A-Kind Dragon Cheese! And I’m taking it! See if you can find it!”
Before Spyro could utter another word, the Gnorc stepped into a convient rip in the time-space continuum that just HAPPENED to be there, and was off to another dimension.
“Great!” muttered Spyro. “Perfect. What now?”
A nearby container of cottage cheese told him the answer. “Go after him! Catch that Gnorc!”
“Are you crazy?! At least when I’ve chased him before, he stayed within this dimension!”
“Don’t tell me you’re scared. . .”
“SCARED?! SCARED! In no universe am I scared!”
“Prove it.” The cottage cheese almost seemed to smirk.
Spyro sighed. “I don’t believe it,” he muttered. “I’ve just been out-witted by a container of cottage cheese.”
With deep breath, he jumped into the space time continuum—which turned into a wall.
“What?” he asked, dazed.
“The rip closed,” answered the cheese. “In order to create another one, you must dance the Macarena.”
“You have got to be kidding.”
“Yep. Here, I’ll make another one for you. But only if you dance!”
Spyro sighed again and--well, you guessed it.
“Hah! Hah! Hah!” laughed the cheese. “I can’t make a rip in the space-time continuum. Duh. There’s one right over there!!! You looked completely stupid for nothing!!! Hah hah hah!”
Spyro’s eyes narrowed. “Not for nothing,” he replied. “I’m getting a free lunch.”
“What?!” cried the cheese. “But—I didn’t mean--”
“Too late,” answered the dragon. “Do the electric slide and I’ll let you live.”
The cottage cheese did as he asked.
Spyro was laughing. “I wouldn’t have eaten you anyway!” he replied. “You’re disgusting.”
The cheese breathed a sigh of relief. “Whew! Thank you.”
With that taken care of, Spyro left for Gnasty Gnorc.
Meanwhile, Spike (from Ape Escape) was on the world of Coconuts catching Jigglypuffs. After getting bored of catching monkeys, he’d gotten into pokemon. The notorious Jigglypuffs were spreading through-out the universe, trying to turn all of the water into applesauce. No one really believed they could do this, but it couldn’t hurt to make sure.
He had just caught another one when a dark hole appeared in front of him. “A rip in the space-time continuum!” cried Spike. (How did he know what that was? Well, he became very intelligent and spent a few seasons with Marty and Doc, learning how to destroy the earth via the space-time continuum, in Back to the Future. If you don’t believe that one, um, the Jigglypuff told him so, of course! Naturally.)
Suddenly, a purple dragon flew out.
“Hey, who are you?” asked Spike, getting his Stun Rod and Evil Floppy Disk Thing ready for a battle.
“I’m Spyro. Hey, did you see an evil yet dumb-looking Gnorc run through here carrying a hunk of fine cheese?”
“No. What’s going on? What’s this about cheese?”
Spyro quickly explained of his run-ins with Gnasty Gnorc, including the cottage cheese.
“Hah! You were out-witted by some cottage cheese?” laughed Spike.
“Yeah, and I’m also the one with a built-in flame-thrower. I’d watch your step if I were you.”
“Yeah, whatever. Wanna help me catch Jigglypuffs?”
Spyro was going to say, “Sure!” just for the heck of it, but then he remembered he had a job to do.
“Not today. Hey, wanna come with me to catch Gnasty Gnorc?”
“Sure.” shrugged Spike. “After all, I’ve caught a bunch of Jigglypuffs. I would like to start catching refrigerators, but I’ll help.”
“Cool. Okay, let’s jump through this creepy-looking gash in the space-time continuum.”
“Okay. After that, can I get some fruitcake? I’m hungry.”
“Fruitcake? Eew. Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”
And the duo set out to catch Gnasty Gnorc.
::Continue::