Spike looked around. They were on a new planet. One made of—

“FRUITCAKE!” Fruitcake buildings! Fruitcake sidewalks! Fruitcake fruitcake!

“Ahhhh,” breathed Spike. “Okay, you two go after Gnasty Gnorc and the cheese. I’m grabbing some lunch!”

“Oh no you don’t!” cried Spyro. He grabbed Spike’s T-shirt in his teeth. “We need all the help we can get!” The words were slightly distorted from the T-shirt. “You’re coming!”

“Ohhhh,” moaned Spike. “Just a little taste. . .”

“Later,” announced Kjyra. “Come on. We’ve gotta find Gnasty Gnorc.” She paused. “Why are we after him again?”

“Cause he stole the Precious Super-Special-One-Of-A-Kind Dragon Cheese.” Explained Spyro. “We’ve gotta get it back.”

“Cool. I thought we were chasing him just for the sheer insanity of it, but hey, that’ll work.”

They had begun walking, and were coming upon a castle. The castle was entirely made of fruitcake.

Spike’s mouth watered. Fruitcake! So close. . . and yet, so far. And yet, so very, very, very close!

Close outweighed far. Spike hurried forward to the castle. He was just about to take a huge bite when—

ZZZAAPPP!

“A bug zapper!” cried Kjyra.

“Why did it zap Spike?”

Kjyra shrugged. “His brain’s as small as a bug?” she ventured, smiling slightly.

“That may be true, but I don’t think that’s why he got zapped.”

Spike was wobbling around. He would tip one direction, fall almost all of the way over, then run up quickly to keep from falling.

He lurched toward Spike and Kjyra. “Hey guys, the cake was really good, oh. . . hi, uh. . .” he fell flat on his face.

“Tsk. Zapped unconscious,” remarked Kjyra. “Oh, well.”

Suddenly they heard a booming laugh. It was. . . an evil Squirtle! No, wait, that’s not right!

It was. . . Gnasty Gnorc! He was riding on a can of spaghetti, which, strangely enough, seemed to be alive. “Hah hah hah! You’ll never get the cheese back!”

“Oh, yeah?” jeered Spyro.

“Yeah! Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because!” The Gnorc seemed to think that this was very funny.

“He’s a two year-old,” muttered Kjyra.

“Hey, that’s it!” cried Spyro. “We’ll give him something in exchange for the cheese.”

“What does that have to do with two year-olds?”

“I don’t know, but it’ll work.”

“Hey Gnasty!” called Spyro. “What is your favorite thing in the entire world?” And please don’t say it’s dragon cheese or the macarena, he added silently.

“Why do you care?”

“Um. . . hey, I asked a question first. You answer!”

“Okay. It’s SHAVING CREAM!”

“Shaving cream?”

“No! SHAVING CREAM! I love to eat it!”

Spyro turned to Kjyra. “Where are we gonna get shaving cream?”

“SHAVING CREAM!” the Gnorc corrected helpfully from above them.

Suddenly, Luke Skywalker ran by. “Here! Catch!” he tossed them a can. “I just happened to have one on me! Total coincidence!”

He was followed by Darth Vader, Bobba Fett, and two hundred storm troopers. By the time the mob had run by, the sun was setting in the sky. Spyro asked Kjyra to hold up the can. Since he was a dragon, as far as holding things went, he was slightly limited. “Here!” he called up to the Gnorc. “We possess shaving cream! If you toss us the cheese, we will give you the shaving cream!”

“Only if you do the macarena!”

“ARRGH.” Spyro heaved a huge sigh—and, well, you know what happened.

“Hah hah hah! You humor me, dragon!” laughed the Gnorc. “All right, I’ll give you the cheese! Fetch!” He laughed and tossed it into the ocean. Which wasn’t really an ocean—thanks to the Jigglypuffs, it was applesauce.

Spyro, Kjyra, and Spike (once he woke up) searched the murky depths for the cheese. When they finally uncovered it, it sure didn’t look like cheese.

Happy that the whole thing was over, Spyro, Kjyra, and Spike returned to Spyro’s world, the World Of Dragons. Spyro presented the “cheese” before the elders.

“We saved this from Gnasty Gnorc,” he announced proudly.

“What is it? The Precious Super-Special-One-Of-A-Kind Dragon Cheese?” asked an elder.

“Yep!” said Spyro happily.

Everyone, minus Spyro, Kjyra, and Spike, started laughing. But then, without knowing exactly why, they joined in. The dragons laughed and laughed, happy-happy-joy-joy. But Spyro was growing annoyed. “Why. . . are we. . . laughing?” he asked the elder, breathlessly.

“Because you didn’t have to save this cheese!” explained the elder. “We’ve been trying to get rid of it for ages. It’s disgusting. And completely worthless.”

“You mean. . . we went through ALL THAT. . . for NOTHING?!” shrieked Spyro.

“Yep!” said the dragon, laughing again. “Pretty funny, huh? You’re such a fool!” All of the dragons began laughing again.

“All right, that’s it!” snarled Kjyra. She whipped out a popcorn kernal.

“That is a popcorn kernel,” said Spyro.

“It can control certain things,” Kjyra informed him.

“That is a popcorn kernel.” He was staring at it rather obessively.

“I know that. Watch what happens!” Suddenly all of the dragons froze.

“That. . . is a popcorn. . . kernel.” Spyro stared.

Glad that the mean dragons were frozen, Spyro, Kjyra, Spike, and ten Jigglypuffs enjoyed a wonderful dinner of special dragon cheese, played Zelda64, and went to sleep.   [FIN]